dear fun committee at my office.
thanks for the small bag of candy, but there must have been some kind of mistake. my bag is comprised almost exclusively of whoppers. not sure who requested the halloween ruiner special, but it wasn’t me. i’ve yet to establish a taste for sour milk flavored anything.
now, if the bag was only whoppers, i would understand. in this economy, maybe whoppers were all we could afford. i’d be like, oh, a bag full of whoppers. that was a nice gesture.
but no. you went ahead and dropped in, one lonely butterfinger just to let me know that other people are getting better candy. tasty, delicious, bad ass candy and you just happened to go crazy with the whoppers on this one.
oh, wait. i must have missed something. yes, it looks like there’s something else in here. let’s see…
…grape nerds?
go to hell.
