the work poop upper hand
i know everybody poops, but for some reason pooping at work has always intrigued me. you just get up from your desk, walk by everyone on your way to the bathroom, poop, then walk back in. everybody knows you just pooped and that’s weird to me.
when i go take a poop i try to mix up my game. leave one door, comeback in another. sometimes i return to my desk with some fake papers or office supplies that i pick up randomly on my way back to my desk. like people will see something in my hand and think i was scouring the other end of the office for the past six minutes really looking for a blue highlighter.
maybe people don’t think about it like i do, but when i know someone else just pooped it gives me some sort of weird upper hand. like i know more about you today than you know about me. and i don’t like giving up that upper hand to someone else.
i just had a meeting with a guy in my office and as we were talking his phone went off a couple times to alert him of a text or an email. it was a very distinct tone i haven’t heard before that went ba-deep. after the meeting, he walks out of my office in the opposite direction of his office. i think nothing of it and get back to work.
after a couple of minutes i decide to hit the bathroom to take a pee. when i get in there the stall on the end is occupied and i can smell some serious work pooping going on. as i am peeing i hear some toilet paper rustle and then very distinctly…ba-deep.
boom. work poop upper hand.
